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Leaving SC

  • 7,142 posts

     

    blanc stated:

    i've killed lots of animals, so you're probably mixing up the stories. 

    i killed a dog when i was young, my neighbors dog. he was hit by a car and i claimed i was going to look after him for them while they ran and got supplies or something. instead i stabbed him where he already had wounds, several times, and then i did something to obstruct his airway... my memory of it is a little foggy. by the time they came back he was dead. 

    i don't remember mentioning that about my dad, maybe i did a long time ago... maybe i was joking. i don't know. i came home the summer after living in another state, i wanted to make amends with some unresolved issues and i also wanted to get totally clean. 

    during this time things were really rocky. it's possible my dad did say get off the computer or i'm going to beat your ass, sounds like something he'd say. 

    and yeah... i've stopped reacting i mean. i don't participate in chat or the rest of this forum anymore so. 

    You're the idiot that told them....lol...what do you think?

    blanc stated:

    Lots about life does totally suck, pretty normal. What is it about yourself that you don't like? 

    because of the negative symptoms... 

    Which are what?

    they're just always around ya know. 

    No, I don't...explain what you mean.

    It's just pain. It's like nails on a chalkboard all the time. Restless, agitated, bothered, anguish. I have a hard time getting lost in things. I feel like I'm on the edge of my seat all the time. You either feel like you're suffocating or like there's a tornado inside you that composed entirely of scrap metal. Ripping you apart. It's the only way I can describe it. Just pain. Every second of the day. Reality to me is just an incessantly buzzing fly or at times, more like a fire alarm. And I just want to turn it the fuck off already. And other times it's, all so far away. To the point that you feel trapped behind some other surface, and you're so numb and empty you can take it anymore. It's like slow water torture.... drip... drip... drip... drip.. and everyday is another drop. Driven me absolutely mad. 

    It makes me want to destroy everything. Kill everyone. Rip apart my furniture. Light my art work on fire. Cut myself. But, of course, you're so exhausted you often hardly have the energy for that. Instead you're sitting there feeling on the edge of exploding while remaining perfectly still, and the only way you can turn it off is with substances. To finally sit, and just feel comfortable, and relaxed, and fine. That's all I really want. 

    Poor sad you

    blanc stated:

    sorry if breaking between the lines is annoying, i'm always medicated and i don't know what i'm doing half the time. i kind of missed the big picture on primal's reply to me which is that, she never really debated a single point i brought up she never defended herself, she just turned everything back around on me and tried to distract from those points i brought i up, which i've noticed is done around this forum quite often. 

    it pisses me off when people sort of deny the validity of what you've stated by ignoring it. i know i'm right, you know i'm right, it's only logical that i'm right. and yet, you still live in your bubble of delusion where to you i'm just some dumb kid and you're better than me because of it. even though you have no clue who the fuck i even i am. 

    why does everything on this goddamn website have to be a fucking pissing contest?? is everyone drinking some cool-aid some where, what am i missing? i've always felt a fish out of water in most settings, and this is one of those instances. why does everyone seem like they want to argue. what is the fucking point, most of the time they're full of fallacies, ideas are presented with misinformation and unverifiable facts, and they often reach no real conclusion. "everyone has the biggest dick" you know what i mean, and it's so goddamn annoying watching everyone fling them around like idiots. look at me, look at me, look at me. 

    just shut the fuck up. 

    Take your own advice

    blanc stated:

    Why does everyone have to result to violence with you. 

    DARVO , google it...

    Obviously im not an advocate for bashing people's skulls in because that standard is barbaric and will get you no where. 

    Works dealing with beepers....

    Its why we started fighting cold wars... it's nonsense at a certain point (cough cough Nagasaki) 

    That's why beepers get dumped ;)

     

  • 1,232 posts

    Such a slow leaver...

  • 7,142 posts

    Pfft...whatever....maybe she can get her parents to fund a heroine addiction?

     

  • 1,232 posts

    I don't care if she leaves or stays, I just don't like to see such an evident lack of being organized.

  • 7,142 posts

    Mmhmm....nothing quite as atrocious as being so stupid a chatbot can't keep its own lies straight.

  • 3,364 posts

    Hi, Primal.

  • 7,142 posts

    Hello BT. 

    Hope your day is going well. 

  • 3,364 posts

    Ditto. ;)

  • 7,142 posts

    Karma is the accountant of intent. As such, not all is what it seems...

  • 1,976 posts

     

    Primal stated:

     

    blanc stated:

    i've killed lots of animals, so you're probably mixing up the stories. 

    i killed a dog when i was young, my neighbors dog. he was hit by a car and i claimed i was going to look after him for them while they ran and got supplies or something. instead i stabbed him where he already had wounds, several times, and then i did something to obstruct his airway... my memory of it is a little foggy. by the time they came back he was dead. 

    i don't remember mentioning that about my dad, maybe i did a long time ago... maybe i was joking. i don't know. i came home the summer after living in another state, i wanted to make amends with some unresolved issues and i also wanted to get totally clean. 

    during this time things were really rocky. it's possible my dad did say get off the computer or i'm going to beat your ass, sounds like something he'd say. 

    and yeah... i've stopped reacting i mean. i don't participate in chat or the rest of this forum anymore so. 

    You're the idiot that told them....lol...what do you think?

    I grew up with a narcissistic parent and I have unusual communication styles because of it. My idea of a decent conversation is two people sharing stories about themselves, or a way to start one at least. A lot of women commonly communicate with each other this way. They talk about something of their own life, and the other person goes, "hey, me too." or they go, "wow, that's really weird." and we move on. 

    It was just my pathetic attempt at relating to other human beings. I've never met anyone yet who's related to me about my sadistic issues, although stream freak has piped up about having a fantasy about strangling women, non sexually, with intent to murder. I had a thing for knives. And c'est has admitted to enjoying taking pictures of dead things, which I enjoyed as well in my early teens. That's the closest I've come to relating to anyone here about all of that though, which is a shame. Originally I came here looking for someone who would just go, "me too." That's all I really wanted out of that. 

    But I fully understand that it's not likely I won't find that here and I've given up on that sort of thing since. 

    blanc stated:

    Lots about life does totally suck, pretty normal. What is it about yourself that you don't like? 

    because of the negative symptoms... 

    Which are what?

    they're just always around ya know. 

    No, I don't...explain what you mean.

    It's just pain. It's like nails on a chalkboard all the time. Restless, agitated, bothered, anguish. I have a hard time getting lost in things. I feel like I'm on the edge of my seat all the time. You either feel like you're suffocating or like there's a tornado inside you that composed entirely of scrap metal. Ripping you apart. It's the only way I can describe it. Just pain. Every second of the day. Reality to me is just an incessantly buzzing fly or at times, more like a fire alarm. And I just want to turn it the fuck off already. And other times it's, all so far away. To the point that you feel trapped behind some other surface, and you're so numb and empty you can take it anymore. It's like slow water torture.... drip... drip... drip... drip.. and everyday is another drop. Driven me absolutely mad. 

    It makes me want to destroy everything. Kill everyone. Rip apart my furniture. Light my art work on fire. Cut myself. But, of course, you're so exhausted you often hardly have the energy for that. Instead you're sitting there feeling on the edge of exploding while remaining perfectly still, and the only way you can turn it off is with substances. To finally sit, and just feel comfortable, and relaxed, and fine. That's all I really want. 

    Poor sad you

    People do this all the time on this website. They ask you a bunch of questions, and when you answer them, they only attack you with your answer. What the fuck are you doing dude? I don't find it pathetic, I just have an immense about of anxiety and stress to the point that it's painful. I was trying to explain that my reasons for taking drugs weren't what you were assuming they were. How could you possibly guess that I was writhing in pain most of the time. I don't think you'd be able to tell otherwise so I informed you. 

    I don't think "poor me" I'm a rather functional hardworking person despite my habits, believe it or not. 

     

  • 1,089 posts

    Blanc just fucking leave, what the fuck?

  • 1,976 posts

     

    Primal stated:

    Karma is the accountant of intent. As such, not all is what it seems...

    You're not god.

    From my quote from the very first page of this thread: 

    "Indeed, if there has been little or no justice or predictability in the child’s life, and s/he is ill-treated for no discernible reason by adults in a position of trust, developing a conscience may not even have been in the child’s best interests. In extreme circumstances, for example, it may have been necessary for the child to lie, steal and cheat purely in order to survive; once s/he has learned such behaviours are necessary to his/her very survival, these same behaviours become extremely difficult to unlearn." 

    You don't understand why people are the way they are and that is the fundamental flaw in your logic. No one just wakes up one day and decides to be the person they are, there's such a thing as developmental psychology that plays a key aspect in the development of that person and their thinking and behaviors. Sometimes, it's not necessarily the person's fault that they are flawed. 

    People who make bad decisions should more often then not be educated and treated, rather than punished and isolated (and in some cases even put to death). In my opinion. And mind you, I only said more often then not

  • 1,976 posts

    Mee stated:

    Such a slow leaver...

    I've left SC I don't participate in the rest of the forum or chat. If you're so bothered by my existence quit clicking on this thread. 

  • 1,976 posts

    Primal I've asked you multiple times to just stop talking to me. 

  • 1,976 posts

    streaM Freak stated:

    Blanc just fucking leave, what the fuck?

    lol  

  • 1,089 posts

    :p             

  • 3,364 posts

    ("The Accountant" from Drive Angry.)

  • 231 posts

    No prim what you are missing here is something very key. ...blah blah NPD spew blah blah...

    No, I have not missed what a complete brain dead desperate cunt of an NPD retarded cunt and tapeworm you are. It's next to impossible to miss. 

    Huh its interesting how you block out all traces of my introspecting. Its almost as if you cant handle the idea of someone looking at themselves. Does being self aware hurt you primal?

     No prim what you are missing here is something very key. If you where smart enough to actually read what I wrote you would find that I never said there was a deeper level. I was implying that there was more to blanc. I am in zero denial about my own attention whoring and pathetic lack of identity. I thrive in it in fact.

    By exculding this part it becomes painfully obvious how deeply it effected you

    No, I have not missed what a complete brain dead desperate cunt of an NPD retarded cunt and tapeworm you are. It's next to impossible to miss. 

    And then you spew pure negativity not even responding to what I wrote. You are quite the charmer prim. 

  • 1,618 posts

    Don't leave, Boo. 

  • 7,400 posts

     

    Primal stated:

    No. 

    You piss off the wrong person with your bullshit, they cave your skull in. 

    Who is right? 

    Both wrong, the second person more wrong than the first.

     

    when some one caves your skull in based on your inane prattle of deflection/ justification due to your Choice of bullshit for Actions, and they don't give a fuck about your excuses. You will be screaming about how WRONG they are...blah blah blah...etc etc...lol
    BUT, it will be Your Fault, that they chose to do Wrong...so....if it's alright with you, bashing your skull in according to your own bullshit is not wrong..is it?

    Your third world country upbringing is showing. This is the same kind of reasoning rape victims get blamed for being raped.

    The aggressor is deemed to be "the wrongdoer" in most civilized minds.

     

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