I'm good at making friends..
But not good at maintaining them...
This can both be a result of my own growing apathy towards whichever person I am conversing with, or their growing disinterest in me.
It's rarely a fight, or a breakup, it's always the slowly growing apart.
I hate it, and it ruind me and it hurts. I resent people for it and I resent myself because I am just like them
but you should never give up x)
I know someone like that. Good at making friends but not good at keeping them.
Like if we're walking, she'll randomly spark a conversation with some guy along the way, could be some young dad watering his lawn, or if we go out to eat she'll talk with some guy on the staff the whole time.
Men shouldn't hang out with hot chicks who want to play buddy buddy. It'll hinder your ability to pick up women, then when you're in a relationship, hanging out with your hot buddy isn't worth the stress it will cause in your relationship.
But yes, not worth it to hang out as it's always a game of trying to make me jelly, but of course it ends with my glorious detachment. HA HA HA how it entertains me.
With me, I have 2 really good friends. They live in different parts of the world though. Then where I live I have 2 other friends. They are also good friends, but I have no deeper connection with them. Honestly, most people bore me, I don't even bother to befriend them. I would find it incredibly difficult to maintain a friendship with a person that is just nice, but boring. I don't know, maybe it is the early exposure to the internet, but I find most people are not on my wave at all. So when you say you find maintaining relationships too hard, maybe it is not the case that the fault is with you, but with most people.
-Of course different things could also be the case, like you have intimacy issues or so and when the superficial has passed you don't know what to do and start to isolate yourself.
-It could be the case that you are a bit on the shizoid spectrum (antisocial). From what you write I take that you don't like how your relationships grow apart and that you's liek it differently. That is not typical for someone on the shizoid spectrum though.
What else comes to mind is that I have noticed that 'normie' relationships are less deep and co-dependent than most people that are on the internet. Personally, I tended to spend all my free time with my friends and often became one with their identity. Maybe on some fucked up Jungian level you see yourself in them and are turned off.
In the end what I can say about people in general is that they tend to always have the same relationships. Usually they create 'systems' in that they can exist safely and all their relationships represent that. If you look back and look into all your relationships, you will probably find the same pattern, back to the very early relationships that imprinted this pattern into you. Then it is time to take charge and confront this old part in yourself that still creates the same unnecessary systems and integrate it. You have to realize that you are not that person anymore. You have to realize that there were reasons why it was better at that time to have these kinds of relationships, but now is a different time and you don't need that system anymore.
Also, just to say, apathy is often a coping mechanism.
Lol, ok this was like a shot-gun blast into the dark. Maybe all, maybe nothing hit the target. Peace out.